5 things to remember about words said in anger
Attending to these things will make you happier
Everybody says things in the heat of the moment.
Friends. Bosses. Strangers. Enemies.
Your significant other.
Me, Gregg Williams.
You.
We all say things that hurt — even when they’re not true.
One: Apologies are hard to do, but it’s important. If you said something in anger, apologize for it. This will show that you are a person of integrity.
If someone else said something in anger to you, here are four things to consider:
Two: Remember that nobody’s perfect. He could be having a bad day. Or be feeling tired or sick or something else. Or be afraid. (Fear is often why someone is angry.)
Three: Building a story from these words is a bad idea. “You always…” “You never…” “You’re such a…” When you turn what happened into a story about who she is or how she behaves, you make things worse for both of you.
(Marriage researcher John Gottman says that after one negative interaction, it takes five positive interactions to undo the damage.)
Four: Saying something hurtful back makes things worse. Though the temptation to do this is strong, every time you don’t, you become a stronger person. Try saying, “I can see you’re very upset by this.”
Five: Responding with facts doesn’t work. Facts never overcome anybody’s anger. They just intensify their next negative response.
Also, check out “How to apologize (written by a therapist)”
